Showing posts with label News That Matter. Show all posts
Showing posts with label News That Matter. Show all posts

Saturday, March 25, 2006

Visual/News That Matter - Diddy, the gay vague

Perez was even more specific ;)

So...Diddy is letting you minions in on how to turn your Amazonian rough'n'tough bodyguard into the fallguy strictly by his smoooooothness. *rolling my eyes* (my comments in gag-me brown)


Sean Combs on What's Sexy
Details, April 2006


1. Smooth is a thing you can learn from Sinatra. He looked everybody in the eye. The way he moved—Sinatra was always making statements, but he was never being loud. He didn’t have to yell. But unfortantly you do, Diddy - precisely b/c your attempt is too contrived.

2. You’ve got to get your smell right. Walk into an elevator with a beautiful woman in it. If you’ve got your scent going in the right direction, she’s gonna be thinking about you when you leave. That’s the way to seal a woman. There's some truth in that.

3. The lighting design in a home is the icing on a cake. I’m not talking about anything expensive; I’m talking about dimmers. You’ve got to be able to control the mood. I'm seconding Perez's comment on this. If you have enough self-confidence, you don't need this unnecessary fluff. (and do I have stories? *snarky chuckles* oh yes)

4. I don’t have a lot of body hair. If I did, I’d get rid of it. For a woman, a wax is absolutely necessary. It makes everything smoother and more attainable. It makes room for all the advances I make when I’m going to please a woman. hahaha! He never came across to me as some amazing lover. Whatever persona he is trying to exude is and was never convincing. Some guys look better in jeans than a suit. You’ve got to let your handsome work for you. You’ve got to accentuate.

5. Accomplishment is attractive. Not if you brag about it though. There are men who wouldn’t make the cover of some “Sexiest Man Alive” issue of a magazine like you Diddy, but they get real appealing when they open their mouths. I’d rather be blessed with that than with looks. b/c deep down, Diddy knows his looks alone have no chance to save his ass if need be. It’s better to look like you’re wearing something that fits than like you’re wearing a trend. Then why did you date J.Lo??!

6. Women are going to tell you they love a man who’s huggable—that they like something they can hold on to—but at the end of the day, nothing compares to a toned body. There’s nothing wrong with letting it all hang out, but when you care, it shows.

7. I’m not just saying this because I’m a black man—I love all my brothers and sisters of other colors—but we are the most flavorful race. Please expand on that.

8. I have a “man bag.” I’m not gonna lie. Just make sure that if you carry one, it’s very, very big, so it doesn’t get mistaken for a pocketbook. So no one will accuse Kim Porter as his beard.

9. Don’t mess with the cut of your suit too much. Some things are going to look good on you, and some aren’t. Leave that up to your tailor. Certainly some truth in that.


Once again, our amusement here at Spoils of War is served by Details. Their consistent ability to deliver justifies the use of deception in order to enjoy the goods.


While I have not committed the act stated above, I have pretended I was buying it for my b/f's. No worries, for I have finally come to accept the truth that I enjoy reading Details and can publicly (well, gingerly) admit that I buy it for myself. Thanks to the geekiest coolest hamster I know for sending the above pic to me. Which reminds me of a funny anecdote he told me of his sibling which I must share:

His sister was sitting in a subway car when a very large man walked in. After a few glances, it occured to her that she really enjoys the food at McDonalds! She thinks she is mean for having entertained this thought but no no my dear, it's not like she was intentionally passing irrational judgement upon the man. It was just a simple ink-blot-esque incidence.

Oh my...I've just realized I could use some mickey-d's as well...it's been a long while! yummmmah!

Saturday, February 18, 2006

Visuals/Theatrics/News That Matter - absolutely contradictory to the laws of logic

I never thought I would blog about Sex and the City but here goes...

When Carrie and Aidan were coupling, I was SO rooting for Carrie. THIS is what she needs. THIS is what is healthy for her. Despite a few areas where their values or approaches didn't mash, his love for her overrode all that.
















Let us reminiscence about their absolute perfectness:












While I FULLY understand why Carrie picked it up with Big again (and I totally support her on that), I still had a soft spot for Aidan. So colour me surprise when I came across the present John Corbett (actor who played Aidan). Seems as though he's pursuing the "instinct about music" that he has had since he was a young'un, with his new album he calls "country rock with a little bit of roll." That's all peachy keen if he didn't totally downgrade his visual presentation!! Please see these damning evidence:

From: "I would still have your babies even if you are unattractively inflexible"

















To: "WTF?!?!"

You are totally destroying my fantasy Mr. Corbett! That is crrruuuu-
ooooo-
aaaaallll!!

Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Visuals/News That Matter - Mon Dieu! Think of poor TomKat Jr.!!

xoxo ~ SoW


(And what was it that Nicole Kidman said? Something to the effect of "now I can wear heels"...*chuckles* How can I help myself? It's the artist's fault....and short men sydrome.)

*Note: Postsecret also has a meaningful tribute for a limited time.


Saturday, February 11, 2006

News That Matter/Visuals - hot dang!

Looky looky.

That's Halle Berry's new tagtoy (Gabriel Aubry)!
He is absolutely, fabulously, yummy-licious.
Gorgeous picture of them.


Thursday, February 09, 2006

News That Matter/Visuals - update on pregger twin

G L O W I N G


Mama Bear predicts*......


*Mama Bear's sex of baby predicitions are 99% correct.


Sunday, February 05, 2006

News That Matter/Visual - it only takes one egotistical nut

Not that I love the couple, but I was surprise to hear that Lance Armstrong and Sheryl Crow broke up. But in my moment of contemplation, I instantly remembered what MamaBear insightfully predicted early on - that Power One-Nut's rather overbearing self-centred characteristic is tres difficult for any woman on his arm to tolerate. And like any over-tanned + never-married cougar, Ms. Over-Stretched was more than happy to abolish her own life to be Power One-Nut's full-time ever adoring cheerleader, cancelling her appearance at Live 8 and wearing blindingly bright yellow at nearly all public functions. *gag me* It was just a matter of time before Ms. Over-stretched missed networking with her rock buds and vomit over her traffic-light-yellow wardrobe.

But it takes such a level of self-centredness to win 7 maillots jaunes and beat cancer. So you see, my sweet readers, why my Man of the Week entries are so infrequent. It is rare to come across a man who can accomplish greatness in life with humility and thoughtful consideration for others - like my dad.

Yes, G.L.P. was right though, this post-holiday and pre-mush-day period brings upon a deluge of break-ups. It hasn't happened to me yet and lets hope it stays that way. But then again, because I've always hated mush-day, I've never gave it the recognition. Therefore, this period doesn't exist in my mind but apparently, it does for others.


Saturday, February 04, 2006

News That Matter/Tunes/Visual - incoming baby rock!

My (white) twin is preggers!

In honour of this not-so-recent news, let us have a listen to her not-too-oldie but a goodie, "Rich Girl". Materialistic in message but oh so sweet at heart - just like my twin!


Tuesday, January 17, 2006

News That Matter - u dirrrty dog

"If a fucking camera could blush, it would be fucking red because you are so fucking hot. If you keep doing that [sucking my dick], we won't have to shave me in the shower tomorrow."

- Colin Farrell to his former Playmate girlfriend Nicole Narain in the sex tape Marty Singer doesn't want us to see.


Well, at least Colin is creative. That's more than I can say for my bed buddies.

Sunday, December 18, 2005

News That Matter/Visuals - K-Fed puts the ass in class

"Suckers! Mah bitch knows her place. She knows trash needs trash. What matters is I got mah baby back and Brit better keep the kid and her Ma-hag away from it this time!!"


No, you don't need to reach for your lutein supplement nor is it photoshopped.

Yes, b's & g's, Spenderline had the brake calipers changed to read "Federline" instead of "Ferrari".

Friday, December 09, 2005

News that matter - Madge is gonna have a fit!!

Introducing......

Cluballah

Exclusivity.
The only peeps that hate the concept are the ones not on the list.


The Ten Commandments

1. You have to go out at least three times a week (approved clubs only).
2. At least one photo on Wireimage.

3. You must attend fashion week in NY and Paris, sitting front row only (approved shows only).
4. Eat at all the hottest new restaurants.
5. Always dress as if you were walking the red carpet or a runway show.
6. Never be seen waiting in any type of lines, especially clubs and restaurants.
7. Donate all your extra money to the Cluballah bottle service fund.
8. Always act like you know about a new club even if you don't.
9. Dance on tables and throw ice at ugly club rat table lurkers.
10. Travel the world in search of the best party's and spread the word of.........CLUBALLAH.

"It's like Heathers and Clueless combined! How fabulous! But without that do-gooder BS. That's for B-listers."
- SoW, prospective member.

Note: Someone contact the webmaster to remove the fugly Grade 7-computer-project-look from this website and instead use some form of interlocking alphabets watermark.


Saturday, December 03, 2005

News that matter/Visuals - 50's street cred going down the crapper


At a bat mitzvah with a reported US$10 million price tag, thrown by David H. Brooks for his 13 year old daughter, Elizabeth (girl on the right in the pic).

Pics
Lowdown etc.
Commentary

And in other Fiddy news...

"A motorised version of me will definitely have to be waterproof, so you could utilise it in the tub. A lot of them [vibrators] aren't waterproof. ... Blue is my favourite colour, so it would probably be blue. But I don't know how big. I don't know if big is better because I'm not sure a man wants his woman playing with a really big dildo."

C'mon now Fiddy... you're not gettin all insecure on me, are ya?

HAHAHAHAHAHA!


Tuesday, November 15, 2005

News that matter - crystal ball

"Maddox cracks me up. Between him and Rocco Ritchie, I can see our celebrity future - two spotlight hogging bad boys who will form some kind of United Nations Kabbalah boy band, appropriately named MadRoc, and release their first smash hit single in 2020, titled Don't Talk About Our Mommas, before splitting up in spectacular fashion over the love of one Spanish Beckham - the 4th child of Posh & Becks, a beautiful daughter with an eating disorder and a raging case of Paris Hilton famewhoritis." - Lainey, www.laineygossip.com

Thursday, November 10, 2005

Visuals/News that matter - Why I love Snoop


BOSTON, MA, United States (UPI) - Rapper Snoop Dogg is launching his own line of foot-long hot dogs.

'Snoop Doggs' are being made in Massachusetts and will hit store shelves in January, the Boston Herald reports.

'There aren't any celebrity hot dogs out there,' Snoop's brother and business manager Bing Worthington told the Herald. 'Who's the competition? Ball Park? ... Imagine a long, skinny hot dog just like Snoop.'

Bing said his brother is just looking out for his financial future.

'Snoop takes advantage of everything,' he said. 'This rap money isn't long. Just ask MC Hammer.'

Hammer, the San Francisco Bay area rapper who had such hits as 'U Can't Touch This' in the early 1990s, declared bankruptcy by the late '90s.

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

 
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